Author Confessions with Christopher William Hill


The first Scottish Friendly Children’s Book Tour of the autumn term saw author and playwright Christopher William Hill visiting primary schools across the North East of Scotland.


Christopher is the author of the deliciously gruesome series Tales from Schwartzgarten. Set in a gothic city populated by macabre characters and despicable deeds, these dark tales are hilarious and repugnant in equal measures.

In between school visits and cake stops we found time to extract Christopher’s author confessions. Read on to find out more. . .

  1. Which author or fictional character would you like to have dinner with?

I think dinner with Bertie Wooster would be entertaining – but I’d make certain that Jeeves was on hand in case things went disastrously wrong.

  1. Which book should every child read?

Any of my books! It doesn’t matter which.

  1. What would your dream job be if you weren’t an author?

Pastry chef in a swanky Paris restaurant.

  1. What’s your most prized possession?

A book of Edwardian family postcards that my mother left me

  1. Who would play you in a film of your life?

Matthew Broderick. If you squint there’s an uncanny resemblance.

  1. What is your fondest childhood memory?

Using the enormous metal pump dispenser to fill doughnuts in my grandfather’s bakery.

  1. If you could go back in time, what year, period or event would you choose?

I would be quite happy living in 1909 – as long as I had an enormous staff to look after me.

  1. Which book has left the greatest impression on you?

A joke book I owned when I was nine.

  1. If you could give one piece of advice to aspiring authors what would it be?

Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can write today.

  1. What would be your first purchase if you won the lottery?

Feeling invincibly lucky I would buy a second lottery ticket.

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